10 Necessities of Life

We have grown out of a lot of these things at this point, but in their prime, we couldn't live without them. 

1. Aden & Anias swaddling blankets: I poo-pooed these when my sister suggested them. Thirty bucks for 2 baby blankets? No thanks. Silly Nikki. I now have 6 of these. These are the ONLY blankets we use to this day. Big and soft and thin and breathable, they work perfectly for swaddling writhing screaming babies. Now that I don't have to tie him up in a straight-jacket, they also work great for a light summer blanket, protecting from the sun, and wrapping up for nap time.
2. A million burp cloths: I have a serious spitter on my hands, and even though you can't expect to make it through a day without being puked on, its nice to have lots on hand to wipe up the big puddles.
3. Pacifiers: Some babies have a hard time soothing themselves, and need to be sucking to calm down, Thad is one of them. A pacifier was a necessity for plugging the screaming. Now his fingers are his best friends, which is wonderful, cause pacifiers also suck (haha) because they disappear when you need them and have a magnetic attraction to the floor.
4. Stereo for baby room: A normal baby would probably enjoy sweet lullabies to fall asleep peacefully to. My child needed blaring static. Either way, you need a source. Now we are at quiet static, and someday we will be at sweet lullabies.
5. Boppy Pillow: Even a small baby gets heavy while nursing. Plus, there are other things to worry about, like proper latching, and not crying in pain.
6. Footie PJ's: I preferred these for Thad over the much-recommended elastic-bottom gowns. I think partly because he was big and sqirmy, the gown style always bunched up. 
7. Bouncer chair: Or some type of chair to hold the baby during shower time, or when a break was needed. Some babies love swings. Thad tolerated his cousin's borrowed swing, but was not in love with it. The bouncer chair holds his attention for a good 30 minutes on a good day. Plus, it has 6 awesome tunes that play over. And over. And over. And over. (And over)
8. Coffee: I don't think that one needs an explanation.
9. 3+ Nursing bras: I only have 3 this first time around, and will definitely invest in more next time. In those first couple of weeks there is some serious leakage going on, and it is miserable enough waking up repeatedly in the night, that you want to be able to change into a clean dry bra rather than going back to sleep in the soaked-through one you have on.
10. Spare sheets and changing pad covers: You never know when a disaster is going to happen, whether it involves puke, poop, or pee (the 3 P's) at 2:00 in the morning. No one wants to do laundry in the middle of the night, and it makes life easier to have more on hand.

I can't say that for baby number two any of these things are going to matter. But, I can say that next time around I am going to be much more prepared. I had done hours of reading "parenting" tips online, thought I was ready and knew what to expect. I WAS NOT READY. Nothing could have prepared me for the fury of Thad. The crying. The lack of sleep. The feeling of not knowing what to do. The pain while nursing. BUT, I want to do it again. I know that it couldn't be worse, and even if it is just as bad, I would know so much better how to handle it. I'm sure the next one will come with his own challenges, but knowing how challenging it can be is half the battle. Bring it on Thatcher, I'm ready for you bud!

Thatsa Big Boy!

I give myself a high-five for growing such a big boy!

Remembering Grandma Crossland

Justin's Grandma passed away recently, and while cleaning out her things, we came across this hand-appliqued scrap, all by its lonesome:

I thought it was cute, and could be made even cuter with a little TLC...for MY little TLC. Thad was only around for a few months before Stella passed, and won't have any memories of her, so I thought it would be a nice way to keep her represented in his life. So, I used it to make this:

And put it here:

Nighttime Nightmares: And the books that have helped.

We continue to have problems getting Thad to sleep at night. I tried formula for the nighttime feeding. I've tried baby Advil per the doctor's instructions (thinking the problem was teething). No go. We continue to wake up about 4 times per night, I feed him, he falls back to sleep, only to break my heart an hour later when he wakes up and I look at the clock and see how little time has passed. His sleeping habits have changed dramatically over his short life, and with each change, we have to adapt and learn new things. Otherwise this is how he looks when he is "napping".

In the very beginning, sleep simply just didn't happen. He didn't nap. He didn't sleep at night. He was constantly awake and crabby. I was crushed about how hard it was. We struggled for a couple weeks, and several people recommended this book: 

It taught me how to help him fall asleep. We swaddled and shushed and bounced and and used a pacifier. And things got better. He started taking naps. He started sleeping in bigger chunks at night.

But he was no where near sleeping through the night. I read a couple more books. 

This one:

And this one:

Becoming Babywise was nothing but discouraging. It made assumptions about his sleeping skills that we were so far from, that it really didn't even apply. No Cry Sleep Solution was much closer to where we were, and offered some really good suggestions. One of the biggest tips that I pass on to all my friends who are expecting is setting up the right environment for sleeping. Until I read this book, I was making his room dark for any sleeping time...naps and bed time. This book talked about babies lack of that innate sense of daytime vs nighttime: they just haven't had a change to learn that yet. You help that develop by napping with bright light (blinds open) and bedtime in the dark (blinds closed). Sounds simple, and man did it make a difference. When I started doing that, he really started sleeping in bigger chunks at nighttime.

Then we kind of stalled and things have progressively gotten worse again. He no longer only wakes up once or twice a night like he did for a month or so. Rarely does he wake up fewer than 3 times. He wakes up and fusses, and I go pick him up and feed him, he falls back to sleep, and I head back to bed for another hour or so of sleep before we repeat. Let me say, it's getting OLD. Mamma can't function like this. Justin has done some internet research, and it sounds like we need to take the next step that I have been dreading, and instead of getting up to soothe him by nursing him back to sleep, we need to get into the habit of trying to let him get him self to sleep. Which means let him cry. Which means longer awake times during the night. Which probably means some tears from me. BUT long term goal is better sleeping habits for him, which will be better for us all.

A Sad Day for Mommy

Well actually, a sad night. I gave my little man his first real bottle of formula last night. Thaddeus has been a challenge from the start, and our most recent problems have been frequent nighttime waking and trouble getting him to nurse. 

When the problems started a couple of weeks ago, I called his doctor's office, and they recommended spreading out his feedings; that maybe he wasn't ever getting to the point where he was hungry enough to nurse. That did nothing. I called the Lactation Consultant next, she said NO! Do the opposite, keep nursing just as often as you were because you don't want to decrease your milk supply. Still no help. So he's not eating well, and he is waking up 4 or 5 times every night. Very frustrating especially since the one thing I held on to through all of our other problems was "well, at least he sleeps well at night". No more.

One of the hands-down toughest things for a new mom is knowing what to do. Everything is new. Self confidence is down the toilet. It's hard sometimes to judge whether or not something that you are trying is working, which makes you second-guess everything. It's just hard. So, when all else fails, what do you do? You call your mom.

And my mom, in all her child rearing wisdom comes up with a great idea: He's not getting enough to eat. Give him a bottle of formula and see what happens. So, last night, instead of our before-bed nursing, I have him a bottle of formula. Dude sucked that stuff down like no one's business. And, magically, he slept better. He woke up twice, once at 1:00, once at 4:00. To a normally sleeping adult, that may sound terrible, but to a mother of an infant such as myself, it was wonderful. (Justin, bless his heart, woke up when I got back in bed after the 4:00 feeding, and was like "he woke up already huh". Uh, Justin, it's 4:00 in the morning, and this is the second time we've been up. Thanks for nothing). 

We'll try another bottle tonight, and this time I will give him even more since he seemed like he could have drank all 5 (five?) of the Great Lakes, and we'll see what happens. In the meantime, even if you are up 10 times at night, how can you be mad at this mug?

Weekend Project

Since Thaddeus has a max of one hour of happy time between naps/feedings, my ability to take him anywhere is somewhat limited (unless of course I decide to enjoy people staring at me while my child screams, which at this time, I do not). One of the places we CAN go is Goodwill which is conveniently located about a mile from our house, and has plenty of junk to peruse through.

On one of our weekdays home together the week before last, I braved an outing with him and found this gem for $2.99. Yes, that's right, under 3 dollars.

My thought was to paint it and use it as a bookshelf in The Man's room rather than the cheap-O pressboard Walmart cubicles that I had been using (Wait, am I saying that Goodwill is a step UP from Walmart? Interesting).

With some instruction from Mr. Knows-How-To-Do-Everything, I sanded and painted (about 42 coats) and created this masterpiece!!

Nice! You're welcome, Thaddeus, add this to you list of reasons to give Mommy lots of hugs!

Overnight Escapade

My mother in law's family has a family reunion every 5 years, and this year the reunion took place practically in our backyard - near Silver Falls State Park in Oregon. I was nervous about going, not being totally sure what the accommodations were, and being well acquainted with Mr. T and his general bed attitude. Unfortunately, my fears came to pass when 5 million new faces, and an unknown setting proved to be more than he would handle. Dude would not sleep even though he was exhausted. He didn't nap. He constantly woke up and was fussy. All. Night. Long. In the dark hours of early morning, at the peak of our frustration, I tried changing a barely wet diaper hoping it would be the magic cure. I put him on our bed to change him, and of course he does what he NEVER DOES, takes a pee while nudey-patootey. Wet bed. Wet PJ's. Crying baby. Nearly crying parents. I got him clean, dry, swaddled, and, still crying, got him back into his pack and play. He lay there crying while Justin and I stood there contemplating packing up and going home. We turn and look down at him and the little bugger has flipped himself over and is looking up at us with that goofy "what's up guys" grin on his face. What can you do.